Showered with Love

I had a wonderful baby shower just nine days before LilliAnn was born! The shower was supposed to be a surprise, but because of the predicted ice and snow storm that was supposed to hit us on the weekend of the shower date it was moved to the next weekend so the word sort of "leaked out" (Aunt Johnna!). I kind of suspected I was having a shower when my mom told me that I needed to get a dress to wear "just in case" someone was to give me a shower. No one had really mentioned giving me a shower, besides the one I had a work, and I just figured that I really didn't need a shower for my second baby - even though it was a different sex. The shower was at my parents' house and my mom, Suzanne, Blair, my cousin Mica, and my Aunt Johnna stayed up until 4 am the night before to decorate and make sure that everything looked just perfect for my baby girl shower!

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Love the invitation!

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LilliAnn is named after my great-grandmother, Lillian McKenzie, so they decorated with some of Grandma McKenzie's things.

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This is a picture that grandma had drawn and she loved scrabble so they used some of her old scrabble pieces.

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A picture of Lillian and her pink telephone

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My very best friend, Kari

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Mica and Stacey enjoying their pink champagne

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Time to open gifts!

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Lovin' all this cute girl stuff!

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This is a little table that my cousin/sister-in-law, Lacee, painted for LilliAnn

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Reid even helped me open gifts

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With my mother-in-law, Missy

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Kelli Ann - 9 months pregnant, Lacee - 4 months pregnant

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Look at that belly!

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Mom got me a little package with inspirational motherly quotes in it...she read one to me every day until LilliAnn was born.

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The Decorators - Suzanne and Blair Brown

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The hand-made smocked gown and bonnet that my Aunt Gayla made for LilliAnn

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The Fabulous Four - Julie, Kelli Ann, Kari, & Logan

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Girls and their boys...Julie & Cash, Kelli Ann & Reid, Sassy & Crewe

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The Girls...Lacee, Mica, Kelli Ann, Logan, Kari, Stacey, & Sassy

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So many cute clothes

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I couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby shower. I was truly showered with so much love! 

Her Grand Entrance

It started out just like any other day. Although my ankles were no where to be found and my feet looked like elephant feet, I had just about given up on the idea that she might come early. I keep forgetting that she is her own person and that this is a different pregnancy. Just because Reid was born almost a month early didn't mean that she was going to come early too. Because of his new work schedule (which is much better than when he was at the police department by the way), Jeb hadn't come to the last few doctor's appointments, but for some reason - I'm guessing it was my motherly instinct - I insisted that he be at this one. Our appointment was at 1, but we dropped Reid off at Granny Carol's house at 10 am so we would have enough time to go to Norman first and pick up the diaper bag that had been made for me at Tulip Tree. After getting the diaper bag we headed to OKC, and although I was starving, we didn't eat because we wanted to have enough time to go sit down and eat after the appointment. We arrived at Dr. Ryan's office about 30 minutes early. Jeb wanted to sit in the car until time to go in, but I was too uneasy and nervous to just sit. I'd been like this for the past week. So, we went across the street to the hospital and looked around in the gift shop to kill some time. Jeb looked at magazines and I looked at a cute pair of skinny designer jeans that I told myself I would buy if I lost all my weight within a month (not very realistic when I had gained 37 pounds!).

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I was the first appointment after lunch and as Tina the nurse called my name I was secretly hoping my blood pressure would be a little bit high so he would move the c-section date up. I was ready to meet my baby girl! My weight was right at what I weighed the day before I had Reid, there was no protein in my urine, and my blood pressure was 132/84 - not too bad for a big pregnant girl. I showed Dr. Ryan my swollen ankles and he checked my reflexes, which were a little brisk. Since I'd been hurting a little more frequently the past week and my blood pressure had been creeping up, he decided to check me. And yes, it hurt! I made Jeb hold my hand and thought to myself...geez Kelli Ann, you're such a wimp - if this hurts you then you would never make it through natural birth (and that's why God gave me two breech babies so my only option was c-sections!). When I saw the look on Dr. Ryan's face I knew she would be here today. I asked, "how much?" He held up 4 fingers and said, "80% effaced...most people don't walk around like this." I said, "Well I guess I do. I worked yesterday and am supposed to be working tomorrow." He kind of chuckled and said, "You probably won't be working tomorrow. Well, I'm not saying you can't work, but when you go into labor it won't be long and if she's still breech you'll need to get here quickly." Yes, being in Seminole when I go into labor would NOT be a good idea. I don't think Jeb could handle delivering a breech baby in the car. The ultrasound tech. came in to take a quick look and verify that she was still breech. Yep...still breech. Dr. Ryan decided that although I may make it to the scheduled date of Saturday, that the best thing would be to move the c-section up to tomorrow afternoon. Since scheduling wouldn't allow the new c-section date was set for first thing Thursday morning. Jeb and I left and as we walked over to Joyful Beginnings to pre-admit we decided we better stay the night in the city the next two nights just to be safe since I had already progressed this much and she was still breech. As the nurse was drawing my pre-op blood work she asked if I'd been having many contractions. I told her yes, but that they weren't regular and that I didn't really know when it's real labor...I mean, I'm already a 4 and 80! She said, "oh, you'll know - they'll get stronger and more frequent and you'll know." 

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Reid needed jeans really bad so before we headed home we decided to stop by Penn Square Mall and run in the Gap to get him a few pair. I had a few pains while in the Gap, but that didn't stop me from wanting to go eat at The Cheesecake Factory! No contraction's gonna stop me from some good food! So Jeb and I sat down to what I called "The Last Supper." For some reason I just knew this would be my last meal before LilliAnn arrived. Jeb and I went all out...appetizers, steak diane, fresh strawberries with whipped cream, and red velvet cheesecake. Yum! We headed home with my belly completely stuffed...literally! On the way home I changed my mani/pedi and spray tan appointments for the next morning so I would look all pretty for the c-section on Thursday, knowing in the back of my mind I would not be making it to these appointments. Once we got home I told Jeb that I would get Reid's bag packed and get everything together and then we'd head to the city to spend the night but that first I needed to lie down for a bit. I took about an hour nap only to be awakened by horrible pains! I knew this was it. Jeb had taken Reid to get some cheese tator tots and I called him and said, "don't rush but I think we need to go to the hospital tonight." Of course he rushed. I went into the nursery and started switching out LilliAnn's things into her new diaper bag we had picked up that morning in between crazy contractions that were coming about every 7 minutes or so. Reid saw me on the floor organizing the bags and hopped on my back saying, "ride bull mommy!" "let's go bull." Ok, not fun in the middle of a contraction - this bull WILL buck you off! We called my mom to come pick up Reid, loaded up everything we could possible need in to the car - Reid's iTouch, computer, pillows, phone charger - and headed to St. Anthony's. Of course on the way to the hospital we got behind TWO RVs, I said a few cuss words - ok, maybe more than a few, then I prayed, Jeb held my hand and put on his flashers, and I prayed again, "no breech baby in the car, no breech baby in the car," as Jeb said, "I knew we should've just stayed up there." 

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Jeb dropped me off at the Joyful Beginnings doorway at St. Anthony's and the nurse greeted me with, "Can I help you?" My answer, "Yes, you can. I'm in labor - contractions every 4 minutes, I was at Dr. Ryan's office earlier and was a 4 and 80%, he moved my c-section up to Thursday morning, I pre-admitted and had blood work here 4 hours ago, and the baby is breech -ooowwwww another contraction!!!" The nurse, "let's get you hooked up to the monitors and get Dr. Ryan here." My dad and my grandparents had been at Kassidy's baseball game and were already there waiting on me. Jeb helped me fill out the paperwork and got all the cameras ready while the nurse checked me. Dilated to a 6 - and NO pain meds...all I could think was get this baby out of me so I can meet her! They started my IV, drew some blood, and about 4 contractions later Dr. Ryan walked in...ah, relief! Ok, I was still scared but something about his white hair and fatherly presence made me feel safe. And if something happened and I did have to deliver this breech baby vaginally, he would be the one to do it. He's a M.D. and has his PhD, has researched VBACs extensively and his one of the few in the state that does them, and has delivered many breech babies vaginally. He's delivered some crazy number of babies, like 3000 or something! He was wearing a dark colored t-shirt and a pair of shorts and he walked into the room and said, "6, huh? If this baby wasn't breech I'd just let you deliver it vaginally. You're almost there already." He said that we were only waiting on anesthesia and that we were going to shoot for 9 o'clock. That was only 15 minutes away and my mom still hadn't made it yet. She had to stop by her house and get a few things and she had Reid so I knew it would take her a little bit. As they wheeled me away into the room where I would meet my second child I got a panic feeling as I realized that right outside the doorway of this exact triage room was where mom prayed with dad, Jeb, and I as they were taking me to have my c-section with Reid. So I closed my eyes and began to pray to myself, saying a prayer that was similar to the one I thought that my mom would pray in this situation. 

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I felt like I was in that cold operating room waiting to see her face for what seemed like an eternity, but LilliAnn was born at 9:26, so apparently I was only in there about 30 minutes before she was born. I was shaking uncontrollably and the student nurse that was helping kept reassuring me that it was because of my hormones and because of the cold room. "I did this when I had my son," I said to her. I didn't really concentrate on the spinal when I had Reid because I was having a monster of a contraction as he was putting the needle in my back. Luckily, the same thing happened this time...a monster of a contraction right after he cleaned my back with the betadine scrub. This is a little weird but when the told me to arch my back and hug the nurse as I sat on the edge of the surgical table, I was comforted by the words, "wow, what a good one," "great landmarks," in reference to my spine. As they laid me back onto the table a warm sensation began to fill my legs and I began to feel numb. They raised the curtain so I couldn't see myself being gutted - gross, I know, and they went to get Jeb. This anesthesiologist wasn't as talkative to me as the one I had with Reid. I wanted to get to know him and form some kind of connection. I guess because I was nervous and I thought this would make him take better care of me if we knew a little about each other. He was wearing a LSU scrub hat and I asked if he went to school there. He said yes and we proceeded to have a conversation about my parents going to Louisiana Tech and me being born in Ruston. He told me his brother went to engineering school at Louisiana Tech and I told him my dad was a petroleum engineer. So yes, we bonded. I got a little nervous when he kept asking around to find out what my blood pressure was in the triage room. Finally when no one could answer him because they didn't bring that paperwork in, I told him what it was and then looked at the monitor to make sure my vitals were stable. I then realized he was just asking to document it in my records. Duh Kelli Ann, if your vitals weren't stable you probably wouldn't have been able to look over at the monitor and interpret all of the numbers. Jeb walked in at that point and asked if I was ok. Then I heard Dr. Ryan say, "Kelli Ann, if anything hurts down here let us know," and at the same time I felt them making the incision. No - it didn't hurt, but yes, I felt the sensation of a line being drawn across my lower abdomen. What seemed like only a second later, Jeb leaned over the curtain and said, "here she is! and she is a little girl." It seemed like FOREVER before I heard her cry. After Jeb said that I kept waiting and waiting and finally...WAAAHHHH!!!! Music to my ears! They held her up for me to see her then took her over to suction out her throat and lungs. I asked Jeb if she was ok, "perfect" he said. At this point I tried to focus on the weight - 8 lbs. 2 oz., the nurse said - a big girl...because I knew that right  about now my uterus was laying on my stomach and they were wiping it out with the blue surgical rags. Yes, I know this because I've watched a few c-sections during my clinical rotations. This was the point that I started getting a little anxious during Reid's c-section and it happened again this time. I told the anesthesiologist that I didn't want anything because I didn't want to be all sleepy and not remember holding her for the first time. So, I toughed it out and after a few minutes I heard Dr. Ryan come back in and ask the female resident what was taking so long (he had went out to tell everyone that she was here and we were both fine and was letting the resident stitch me up), she said, "I'm taking my time so she has a good incision - she has really pretty skin and no stretch marks." Thank you God, for giving me a woman resident to stitch me up that understands these "womanly" things :)

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Right before they wheeled me out of the OR, Jeb put LilliAnn in my arms and at that moment I felt completely at peace. Like all was right in the world. In the recovery room I kept worrying about when I was going to be able to move my legs, and worried about Reid being more interested in the basketball game on the iPhone than in his new baby sister...but finally after taking some beautiful pictures and getting just a dab of Versed, I was relaxed again. When I nursed her for the first time she latched on like she had been doing it forever! I studied her face and couldn't believe how chubby she was and how much she looked like Reid. Light brown hair and not a whole lot of it, her daddy's "butt" chin, my chubby cheeks, and gorgeous eyes! My precious baby girl...welcome to this world. You are such a good baby and such a blessing in our lives already. I'm so excited to begin this new journey! Thank you, Lord, for beautiful healthy children, an amazing husband, and supportive family and friends...we are truly blessed!

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Life With Two

Diapers, diapers, and more diapers! I woke up this morning and stepped on three diapers trying to get out of bed. Breast babies, as you may know, usually need changed after every feeding and when you can barely keep your eyes open in the middle of the night and are so tired you can't even think how to put the diaper on right most of the diapers end up on the floor beside the bed. We've been working on potty training with Reid for several months now. I didn't want to push the issue. I just wanted him to start to get the feel for it and then progress as he was ready. He was doing to well at first I thought, no problem, we'll have him potty trained before LilliAnn gets here...WRONG! He's still in diapers...well, pull-ups most of the time. He does still go in the potty sometimes and does take his own diaper off when it's "wet mommy," but we aren't completely potty trained. This makes for LOTS of diapers at the Rollins house! And this is funny. Reid loves to go pee pee outside lately. So today he told Jeb he wanted to go pee pee outside so Jeb told him to go. He walked out into the backyard and supposedly "pee peed" then came back in the house. He ran into the bedroom and climbed up on the bed with me with only a shirt on. Then, I smelled it! Poop! I asked Jeb if he changed Reid and he said that he had went outside. I looked at Reid's bottom and it was dirty and so was our bed!! Ahhh! Then Jeb looked outside and there it was...a poo poo log sitting on our patio!

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Reid has done pretty well adjusting to his new role as big brother. At first he ignored the baby and didn't want much to do with her. I don't think he quite got the concept at the hospital that this "thing" would be coming home with us. He's starting to get the hang of things now and is such a big helper. Jeb will tell him, "I have to change sissy now," and Reid will run and get her diaper and wipes! The past few days he's started to want to hold LilliAnn. He'll ask, "mommy, I hold da baby...pease!" When he holds her he pets her little head like she's a lap dog and kisses her forehead. If he wants me and I have the baby he'll say, "daddy hold baby." Occasionally, as he's walking through the house he'll stop and look at me or Jeb and hold his hands out and say, "what's sissy doing?" And the name that he's given to her is sissy baby. Jeb rocks her and sings this song he made up that goes something like, "sissy baby, sissy sissy sissy baby." It's pretty cute. 

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And I thought Jeb was protective with Reid...wow, he's so much more protective of LilliAnn. He seems to worry about every little thing with her. If she rouses at all at night he picks her up and lets her sleep in the crook of his arm. He rocks her and talks to her saying, "what's daddy's little princess doing?" or "how is my gorgeous little girl?" He is such a an amazing daddy. I didn't even change one of her diapers until two days ago because he would always do it. He wakes up with me for night feedings to help burp her or change her and he has been the one to give her all of her baths so far. I feel so blessed to have such a wonderful husband who takes his role as father so seriously. He's so good to me and I love how he's "all about our kids." I overheard him telling someone yesterday who commented on how good of a dad he was that he didn't want his kids to ever think that he wasn't there for them.

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Another big change: Reid hasn't been sleeping with us anymore...well, for the most part. I put a twin bed in his room when I transitioned it to a "big boy room" and it's a little high and doesn't have rails on it. I went ahead and skipped the toddler bed because I knew he wouldn't sleep in his room by himself anyway. We have a really thick mattress pad that we put on the floor in the corner of our bedroom and Reid's been sleeping on this since LilliAnn was born. I know I probably will one day, but at this point I can't say that I miss him sleeping with us. It's been forever since Jeb and I got to sleep next to each other and cuddle. Don't get any ideas...we're pretty sure that we're finished having kids :) If he keeps this up for the next few weeks I'm going to buy a little toddler bed to keep in our room and then eventually will transition him to his own room. LilliAnn sleeps in her bassinet/co-sleeper that's next to our bed and is a great sleeper. She usually wakes every 3-3 1/2 hours at night to eat. Last night I think her tummy was hurting because she had lots of gas and was very hard to soothe. I let her sleep sideways in bed by us with a pillow separating her head and Jeb. I know, this is NOT what you're supposed to do but it was the only way any of us could sleep last night. So I guess you could say we're starting to get our sleep schedule all figured out. 

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Onc of the hardest things for me has been that I can't pick up Reid. After a c-section you're not  supposed to lift anything "heavier than your baby" for 2 weeks. Reid just doesn't understand this and it breaks my heart every time he holds his arms up, jumping up and down in front of me saying "mommy hold you," "hold you mommy!" I go and sit down and hold him in my lap but then he wants me to "hold you up!" I know I'll be able to hold him again in a few days but I just don't like him thinking that I don't want to hold him. I've explained to him that it's because mommy has a boo boo and have even showed him my incision. He seems very intrigued by this and sometimes will ask to see my boo boo. 

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Then there's the "ba ba" issue. Reid still occasionally asks for a bottle and we let him have one. I know, I know, we're working on it, but it's just so hard to say no when he asks, "mommy, ba ba pease?" or "I wanna bobble pease." And no, we don't let him go to sleep with it so I'm not worried about baby bottle teeth and I don't give it to him in place of meals so he's not anemic. But yes, he's WAY too old for a bottle! Anyway, today I had just pumped and LilliAnn started to get hungry so I made her a bottle for the first time. I wanted to make sure she would take my breast milk from a bottle and didn't want to wait and try when she was three months old and already too used to only the breast. She took to it like a pro and gobbled down 3 1/2 ounces in no time! Reid saw her taking the bottle and of course he wanted one. He even pointed at the pumped breastmilk and wanted sissy's milk. So....what did I do? I gave him a little bit. I thought Jeb was going to freak out at first but I told him that it was good for him and that he drank it for the first 13 months of his life. He drinks goat's milk now and I've heard that it's similar in taste to human milk. No, I haven't tried either one to verify! The bad news...Reid LOVED the breast milk and asked for "mon mommy!" (he says mon for more). I gave him a little bit more then told him it was all gone. I can't be nursing one and pumping milk for the other! I think that will be Reid's last taste of breast milk, but hey, he got some good nutrition! Hopefully his diaper won't look like mustard tonight like LilliAnn's :)

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So all in all, in really hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be having two kids under the age of two. I know it will probably get much harder as LilliAnn gets older and does more than just eat and sleep all day, but for now things are pretty good. The baby is easy, it's Reid that requires so much time and attention. But we seem to have it all under control...today that is! As Jeb says, "we make a great team," but Jeb...this is it.