Back to School...sort of.

A couple of weeks ago Reid started his second "semester" of Mother's Day Out at Immanuel Baptist Church. He is in the 4 year-old class in the Kids For Christ program, and so far, he's not too thrilled about going to "school." Because Reid's birthday is the very end of April, Jeb and I have decided to hold him back and not start Pre-K until next year. Yes, academically he is ready, but socially...not quite.  Also, Jeb thinks it's important for a boy to be the oldest in his class instead of the baby - you know, he might grow that extra 4 inches and gain 20 pounds his last year of high school ;) Reid is a lot like his mommy. He has separation anxiety issues...he is slow to adjust to new people, new environments...he's a perfectionist and puts a lot of pressure on himself to do everything just right (even at this young age!). We had a meltdown practicing the letter "B" last week because his "B's" that he was drawing weren't "good B's." Reid has never been in daycare and only went to MDO last year 2 day a week for a couple of months. He's not used to being away from me, or used to playing with children that he doesn't know very well. He cried the first day because he didn't want me to leave him. He wanted to take his watch with him so he could see when it was 2 o'clock. He says that his stomach hurts every Tuesday and Thursday before school and he'll act like he's going to throw up. I know how this feels. I know what it's like to be this nervous. My stomach always hurt when I went to school as a kid. I would be so anxious about being away from my mother, and I would put so much pressure on myself to do everything perfect at school. I was nervous about the teachers and the kids...and on achievement test week, mom would sometimes have to come get me because I would be so nervous that I would make myself sick. I have a feeling this is going to be Reid. All summer we had been telling Reid that he would only have to go to school "2 days a week," so when we told him we were going to try 4 days a week because we thought it would help him get used to school, he was NOT having it! He said, "but you said only 2 days a week, mommy." You cannot get anything past him and he remembers every little thing. 

The few kids that he did know and feel comfortable with, moved up to Pre-K this year so he doesn't know anyone in his class. He says he doesn't like his new teachers. I will admit, these two teachers are new to the MDO program and they aren't the Ms. Shelly that Reid had last year. She was AMAZING and Reid did great with her! Yes, he cried the first few times, but he adjusted well and began to ask to go to school more often than his scheduled 2 days a week. I've went and watched him a couple of times and he just sits alone during recess. He says he doesn't like playing with the other kids and that he doesn't even like going outside. This is so not Reid. This is not the Reid we know at home...in his comfort zone. He LOVES being outside, he LOVES playing with other kids...he's rowdy, ornery, outgoing, athletic...so his "school personality" is so uncharacteristic of the real Reid. It worries me. 

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This is a picture of Reid on his very first day of school when we first tried Mother's Day Out. He was 2 years-old. Now, here he is...4 years-old and has changed so much! Where did my baby go?!

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I'm trying not to make a big deal out of going to school and I'm trying not to talk about it a lot. I fret so much about Reid and it's hard for me to relax and just let him be. I don't seem to worry as much about LilliAnn...maybe it's because I see so much of myself in Reid. We're still only going 2 days a week...we're still crying before we leave the house...we're still begging all the way to school to not go...and we're still clinging to mom as we walk to the classroom. I pray that this gets better. This is so upsetting for a mom. I've debated over whether to make him keep going...whether to make him go 4 days a week so it will be more routine and so he'll get to know the other children better...whether to just call it quits and wait and try Pre-K next year...or whether to try the half-day Pre-K this year where he has different teachers and do the all-day Pre-K next year? Is it worth making my 4 year-old sick and upset over Mother's Day Out? Is this really helping to get him ready for next year? So many questions...

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My Handsome Boy!

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 The last couple of times that I've picked him up he's told me that he had "a really fun day." That makes me feel better, because he acts like he enjoys it. But, when I ask him if he wants to go back on Thursday, he starts crying and tells me no. I'm going to continue to pray about it, and I know God will lead me in the right direction...lead me to do what's best for Reid.

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I thought the Spiderman backpack and matching lunchbox would make he really excited to go to school...it hasn't helped much! He may not be crazy about "back to school" time, but he sure is CUTE!

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Stay tuned for more posts about how "school" is going and the journey of a mother who worries too much...