breast babies. {five years}

Today marks five years of my life that I have breastfed...FIVE years! My body/ovaries have been in a "pseudo-menopausal" state for five out of the past 7 1/2 years...no wonder I'm crazy! 

Nursing my three babies has been one of my very favorite things about motherhood, and because I'm passionate about it, I wanted to reflect back on my breastfeeding journey. 

Although it is extremely natural at this point and I can literally nurse my toddler anywhere without being noticed, it wasn't always so easy. I remember crying after Reid was born because he had trouble latching and wouldn't stay awake to eat. No one showed me different nursing holds, tips for effective latch, or warned me that I would get super hot and severely claustrophobic while attempting to breastfeed for the first few weeks. Just because I was a nurse practitioner didn't mean that I knew how to feed my 4 week early newborn! Thankfully a good friend clipped a fan to my hospital bed, adjusted my pillows, and patiently talked me through those first few frustrating feedings. Breastfeeding for the first two weeks took teamwork. Jeb would wake up with me for every single feeding. He would rub Reid's little head and feet to keep him awake, and was my number one supporter. I had my mind made up that I would be successful at breastfeeding from the moment I found out I was pregnant, and I was not giving up! My mom even drove around the parking lot of the OU College of Nursing so I could come out ever hour and nurse Reid while finishing up NP school! 

With LilliAnn, my milk didn't come in for five days. I remember Jeb saying, "let's just give her some formula." I refused, assuring him that she was getting what she needed and that my body knew what to do....that as long as I was putting the baby to my breast, eventually I would make the perfect food for my baby girl. And oh how she loved mommy's milk! She nursed all night long and never slept through the night until after I weaned her! One time, hormonal and exhausted to the point that my bones hurt, I called my mom in the middle of the night and told her that now I knew why Britney Spears shaved her head. lol! 

And pumping...I've pumped a LOT! One time pumping enough for the days I worked at the clinic, as well as enough for a seven day vacation...even setting my alarm to wake up ever two hours so that I would have a freezer full of milk to last while we were gone. I've pumped in airports, bathrooms, hotel rooms...while driving, while cooking, and even in the back of a jeep on the back side of Cozumel! 

It was really hard work, but my children never had a drop of formula! 

Before I had babies, no one told me that breastfeeding would be difficult. No one told me that if I pumped too much in the beginning, I would get super engorged and the baby would have trouble latching. No one told me that my shirt would have two wet spots during the most embarrassing time possible...or that initially it would hurt so bad when the baby latched on that I would scream bloody murder...or that the letdowns would ache more than any cramps I've ever had. No one told me how disappointed I would get when I only pumped half an ounce, or how frustrated I would be when I spilled a bottle of breast milk.

But...no one also told me how much I would bond with my newborn as we were skin to skin, or how tears would roll down my face the first time they stopped nursing to look up at me and smile with that adorable milk grin. And no one told me how amazing my body is...how my breast milk would change in response to my baby's needs right at that moment. No one told me just how close and connected I would feel to my child as I nursed him to sleep every night...or the pride I would feel with each pound they gained. And no one told me that breastfeeding would change my life...that it would be one of my greatest accomplishments.

New moms or moms-to-be, I'm not telling you it's going to be easy. I'm telling you that it's going to be worth it. But whether you nurse for a day or a year, know that you're a rockstar mom either way! ❤️

#sorryforthelongstatus #goalmet

drugs make you crazy.

"Daddy! Reid said I do drugs!!"

"Well she IS crazy..." 😳

#redribbonweek

Lil's words.

"Daddy spanked me with a wooden spoon and it was so loud it gave me an ear infection!" 

thank you.

When your baby's breastfeeding then looks up at you, smiles, and says "thank you"... #itmaybetimetowean 😳😂

back to school. (2015)

I'm completely exhausted, but I must get this post finished! Between a busy life with three kids and building a 6,000 square foot house I don't have much time these days. I feel like I stay tired and stressed, but I know that in just a few more months it will be so worth it! I've gained almost ten pounds in the past few months because I tend to eat when I get nervous and stressed. Hopefully when we get all settled into the new house, I can get back to my healthy eating and working out routine! Anyway…on with the post about the new school year!

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This is Reid in his classroom on back to school night! He was a little bummed that none of his friends were in his class this year, but he was really happy that got Miss Dye for a teacher!

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Miss Dye was a student teacher in LilliAnn's class last year and this is her first year to teach. She is super sweet and has been so great for Reid. I think it may be a good thing that there aren't a lot of rowdy boys in his class…hopefully he will learn better without the distractions of all of his friends.

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Back-To-School night cuties!

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For Kindergarten graduation last year, Mrs. Lyle got all of her students this book. Reid was so excited to read it the night before first grade!

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They are getting so big! I absolutely love these pictures of my precious babies! They weren't just thrilled about it, but I made them do a little first day of school mini session that morning! 

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My adorable Kindergarten cutie! I searched for months for the perfect first day of Kindergarten dress. I wanted something classic and timeless, but I wasn't having much luck. The week before school started I would a Facebook boutique that had this plaid monogram dress ready to ship. It was absolutely prefect and I was so excited that LilliAnn like it too! She got so many compliments telling her how precious and perfect her dress was! 

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LilliAnn McKenzie - Age 5, Reid Jackson - Age 7

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My awesome 1st grader! Reid usually wears athletic gear to school - Nike, Under Armour with K.D.s or some type of basketball shoes. I told him that I wished he would wear something a little nicer for the first day and this is what he picked out. I thought he looked super handsome! He spent the most time fixing and combing his hair so it would be perfect. It cracks me up how picky he is about his hair! 

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Watch out Grove Elementary…here come the Rollins kids! 

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We got Reid's backpack this year at a local embroidery shop downtown called Uncommon Threads. He picked out the monogram color and font, and he could not have been more proud of how it all turned out! 

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We got LilliAnn's backpack at Uncommon Threads as well. Her favorite color is pink, and I was hoping she would pick the pink one. Surprisingly, she was dead set on the black and white, and I think it turned out pretty cute!

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It's was tough getting serious pictures with the silly seven-year old boy!

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Bring it, first grade! Reid Rollins is ready!

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The perfect picture of a first-grader...

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Everything that I ever dreamed of in a little girl...

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They begged me not to make them take a picture in front of the school, but like a good mom, I made them! Lol!

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Reid was all business, as usual, when he walked into his classroom. I snapped a quick pic of him sitting at his desk before he "shooed" me out!

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Reid took this exact picture last year next to this exact door. She seemed a little nervous, but also excited about Kindergarten.

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She was timid, as usual, and didn't talk much when we went into her classroom, but Mrs. Lyle sent me a text after lunch saying that she had been talking and even shared a story about Rush with the class. She told me that LilliAnn wasn't acting shy at all! I was so proud of my sweet girl! 

The kids have been in school almost a month now and out of all of the kids in her class, LilliAnn has gotten the most "golden tickets" for good behavior two different weeks now! She is doing great!! 

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I could not be more proud to be their mommy. Prayers for a fantastic school year, my little loves. 

xoxo

so much love.

Holding my sweet baby Rush and thinking about just how much I love being a mommy to my three little angels. As a child, I never played much with baby dolls, and I wasn't that little girl that was the "mothering" type...I always knew I wanted children but never expected to to feel like this about being a mom...like it's what I was put on this earth to do.  

I'm overwhelmed by emotions just watching them sleep. I feel so underserving of such amazing little blessings, yet so thankful that God chose me to be their mother. 

After the big kids fell asleep tonight, Rush and I played and laughed and cuddled...he gave me more kisses than I could count and he held me face and said, "luv lou." Tears rolled down my face because sometimes I love them so much it hurts.

The saying is oh so true. You never understand how much your mother loves you until you become a mother yourself. 

mom life.

sleep is for the weak.

They've been up in my grill all night long. They were both up watching a motorcycle show at 4 a.m. I'm exhausted. My back and neck hurt. And I've scooted them over too many times to count. But I'm not going to lie, I kind of like that they're still little enough to want to sleep next to me. #poordaddy #theykickedhimout #weplaymusicalbeds

Reid's words.

Tonight while tucking him into bed…

"Mommy, I'm going to heaven because I love Jesus. I love Him a whole lot and I believe in Him. Did you know that there are some kids who don't have books and who don't know who Jesus is? That's really sad, huh? We need to tell them about Jesus."

He gets it. And I don't care if he never gets anything else in this world…because he gets this.

Rush's words.

Reid: "Mom, my favorite thing that you cook is spaghetti...and your lasagna. Actually, I really like all of your Italian food."

LilliAnn: "Me too. I love your lasagna!"

Me: "Rush, what do you like that mommy makes?"

(Looks straight at me and smiles): "Boobie!" 

the greatest little lake in the state.

Oh Wewoka Lake….truly our family's favorite place on earth…our escape, our getaway, our relaxation…a place where so many happy memories are made. We've spent a lot of time at the lake this summer. The kids absolutely love it…all three of them. Reid spends his days fishing and exploring, while LilliAnn likes to swim and play with her pink retro kitchen. About a month ago, Reid finally got the hang of wake boarding and man, did he fall in love with it! He wake boarded a little bit last year, but this year he really figured it out. He just can't get enough! He's even doing jumps now and going back and forth over the wake. It's so fun to watch him because he gets really proud of himself and does crazy hand motions and bobs his head when he lands a jump! 

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The kids also enjoy spending time with Papa Glenn and Grandma Lucy. Mimi and Papa spoil us rotten when we're at the lake! The kids love running back and forth up the hill from our house to their house - or riding their Power Wheels! Papa spends most of his time entertaining Rush by driving him around in the Kubota/Gator. It's Rush's favorite thing to do right now! 

Last weekend, Mimi cooked a big Sunday morning breakfast for us - sausage, biscuits and gravy, scrambled eggs, cinnamon rolls, and grape juice. It reminded me of when I was a kid and used to spend the weekend at Mimi and Papas. Papa made the kids popcorn in his popcorn maker and then made them some nachos in the oven. LilliAnn thought everything was so good, and asked if Papa could come live with us so he could make us popcorn and nachos all the time. It's times like these when having kids is extra special because I'm able to re-live my own childhood. I'm so glad that my children are able to make fun memories with my grandparents. 

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I took these pictures last month and wanted to share them in this post. 

Josh and Lacee live about five minutes from the lake house, so we get to see them often when we come to the lake!

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LilliAnn and Josslynn remind me so much of Lacee and I when we were kids - except these two may get along just a little better!

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Doing what he does best! Fish!

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Cousins make the BEST friends!

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We added a new swim dock this summer and the kids have really enjoyed it!

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my pretty girl

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No matter how hot it is outside, these kids always end up in the hot tub!

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Aunt Lacee is the queen of laying out! She was putting the new dock to good use!

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The kids love the beach area! The girls play in the sand and swim, while the boys hunt for crawdads! 

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He thinks he has to go everywhere that the big kids go!

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These two…they are as close as brothers!

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And no trip to the lake is complete without some tubing fun!

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Little sister is starting to enjoy fishing too!

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Reid will always remember fishing with his daddy. I love that they both enjoy it so much.

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He was amazed at the crawdad! He LOVES any kind of animal or bug…and he's not afraid of anything! He gets so upset if the kids find a bug or a frog and don't let him hold it too! He'll start scramming, "BUG!!"

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He wanted to give it kisses! LOL!

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All boy…and all Rollins!

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We are very blessed to have such a wonderful lake house to enjoy as a family. And I know that we'll be enjoying it for many years to come!