"Mommy, when we went to Dis-a-ney Wowld that step-mother tied my shoe. Did you know that that step-mother is actually nice? Can you believe it?"
"Mommy, I have to poo poo."
"Ok, let me know when you're done and I'll wipe you."
"K. Nana says that when you poop you hafta relax."
"Mommy, do you rememba that white stuff that I put on my body (she calls her bottom her "body") when I was a wittle baby?"
"Oh, yeah. It's weally white and has lots of sugar in it? It makes your body feel very skinny."